Help with phrasing, please?

[rainbow]

This one is sticking me. I'd love a suggestion on how to take out the "see".

"Who can see that you've marked this entry as memorable?
Everyone, only people on your Access List, or just you?"

Edited, because I hadn't realised not having the second sentence would make such a difference in answers. Mea culpa!

What about
"Who has access to this memory:
Everyone, only people on your Access List, only yourself?"

Comments

[ivorygates]

"who is able to access your memories"

"who can view your memories"

"who has access to your memories"

"what security level have you given to this memory"

[helens78]

Who can tell that you've marked this entry as memorable?
Who can find out you've marked this entry as memorable?

(Does it need to be a question?)

[chasy]

I like "Who can tell that you've marked this entry as memorable?"

[ivorygates]

huh. actually, no.

"You can give your memoried entries the same access levels that your give your journal entries. Set an access level for this memory now."

[katieastrophe]

I like this best so far, but it seems rather wordy to me. Can it be hacked down a little?

[ivorygates]

"You can give your memoried entries the same access levels your give your journal entries. Set an access level for this memory now."

I'll worry a bit that it will lose clarity if it's shortened from this, given that we're walking our DW adopters through an unfamiliar set of concepts. (I did remove the intrusive "that", which is against DW Style.) Perhaps: "You have the same control over your memoried entries as you do over your journal entries. Set an access level for this memory now."

[rainbow]

This I _like_. And I think it will work fine on the memory screen, as the pull down box says Public, Access List, and Private.

[katieastrophe]

That works for me, actually. (The last one.)

(not a member of the docs team)

[celtic_maenad]

I definitely like this best. Though you've got a typo; "access levels your give your" should be "access levels you give your".

I expect that would have been caught before it got too much further. ;)

Re: (not a member of the docs team)

[ivorygates]

*snerk* Well, you caught it... *g*

[kyrielle]

I like these, but both seem to have the potential to make some users think they're blocking access to the entry, rather than the fact-it-is-a-memory. I think it's the phrasing "memoried entries" rather than "memories" that makes me think that - and by its prevalence I'm guessing it's a style guide decision here - in which case I've no idea how to solve it. I do know it doesn't seem to flow/read well to me.

[rainbow]

Ooh, thank you. That helps!

[nightprincess]

The problem with "Who has access to this memory?" is that "memory" by itself is vague: it can be the original article itself, or it can be the article's link in the memorable entries list.

My attempt...

"Who can find this entry in your memory list: everyone, only people on your access list, or just you?"

[sophie]

I like this best, personally.

[edited to add: Not a member of the docs team, though.]