Help with phrasing, please?

[rainbow]

This one is sticking me. I'd love a suggestion on how to take out the "see".

"Who can see that you've marked this entry as memorable?
Everyone, only people on your Access List, or just you?"

Edited, because I hadn't realised not having the second sentence would make such a difference in answers. Mea culpa!

What about
"Who has access to this memory:
Everyone, only people on your Access List, only yourself?"

Comments

[ivorygates]

"You can give your memoried entries the same access levels your give your journal entries. Set an access level for this memory now."

I'll worry a bit that it will lose clarity if it's shortened from this, given that we're walking our DW adopters through an unfamiliar set of concepts. (I did remove the intrusive "that", which is against DW Style.) Perhaps: "You have the same control over your memoried entries as you do over your journal entries. Set an access level for this memory now."

[rainbow]

This I _like_. And I think it will work fine on the memory screen, as the pull down box says Public, Access List, and Private.

[katieastrophe]

That works for me, actually. (The last one.)

(not a member of the docs team)

[celtic_maenad]

I definitely like this best. Though you've got a typo; "access levels your give your" should be "access levels you give your".

I expect that would have been caught before it got too much further. ;)

Re: (not a member of the docs team)

[ivorygates]

*snerk* Well, you caught it... *g*

[kyrielle]

I like these, but both seem to have the potential to make some users think they're blocking access to the entry, rather than the fact-it-is-a-memory. I think it's the phrasing "memoried entries" rather than "memories" that makes me think that - and by its prevalence I'm guessing it's a style guide decision here - in which case I've no idea how to solve it. I do know it doesn't seem to flow/read well to me.